Quickie-mart employee Melissa and paraplegic Richie are very much in love. Supported only by Melissa’s small hourly wage, they are nevertheless thrilled to learn that Melissa is pregnant. Then their situation deteriorates, and their tenuous financial situation threatens to bring their happy life crashing down.

Noel is a young man who travels from upstate New York every year to sell Christmas trees in New York City. Returning without the help of his long-time girlfriend, this year Noel finds it impossible to do the one thing he knows so well---sell Christmas trees. As Noel begins to spiral downwards, alienating co-workers and customers in the process, it turns out this same community of people may be the only ones capable of saving Noel from self-destruction.

At popular South Beach University, filthy rich super-snob Victoria English is the absolute queen of leading Greek student club, Sigma Sigma. In order to achieve her crowning ambition, winning FHM Magazine's annual best sorority, she must recruit atypical 'Sigmies' to fulfill the diversity criteria. Ambitious sycophant pledge Kristen Haas helps her attract 'losers' (too poor, ugly, unfashionable), who are cruelly put through excruciating hazing, without intent to actually enroll them. Gloria, the brightest and most assertive pledge, wins the heart of Derek 'baby Dick', Victoria's ideal, yet constantly abused boyfriend, whose bitch-addiction is cured by this alternative lover. Together they lead the revolt of the not-even-nerds.

An eccentric professor takes four of his students to the mansion of the “Mad Hatter”, an urban legend driven insane by mercury poisoning and grief. He says that there’s nothing to worry about now: the strange, shambling “caretakers” that haunt the home are merely servants that have fallen to inbreeding, and the Hatter himself has been dead for years. But as the students start disappearing one by one, those that remain start to question if the professor’s experiment is truly scientific...and if the Hatter didn’t just succumb to his madness, but decided to spread it...