Nick is a successful young man whose comfortable West Coast life couldn't be better. However, when his girlfriend falls under the influence of lecherous music producer Lenny Swackhammer, Nick impulsively decides to travel to Toronto to intervene. Nick's buddies Tyler and Dime opt to turn the quest into a cross-country road trip that's complete with wacky antics and encounters with beautiful women.

The story begins with a regular Joe who tries desperately to seek employment, but embarks on a violent rampage when he teams up with cult leader Uncle Dave. Their first act is to heist an amusement park, only to learn that the Taliban are planning the same heist as well. Chaos ensues, and now the Postal Dude must not only take on terrorists but also political figures.

The owner of a bank (Miss Bitterman) wants to own the Muppet Theatre so she can build a nightclub over it. After she tricks Pepe into giving her the only copy of the contract between her father and the Muppets, she changes it so the Muppets have very little time to pay a debt they owe. Meanwhile, the Muppets are trying to put on a Christmas show. After the Muppets are confronted by Bitterman, they make a lot of sacrifices to save up so they can keep the Theatre.

When young Buddy falls into Santa's gift sack on Christmas Eve, he's transported back to the North Pole and raised as a toy-making elf by Santa's helpers. But as he grows into adulthood, he can't shake the nagging feeling that he doesn't belong. Buddy vows to visit Manhattan and find his real dad, a workaholic.

Three women, who seem to have nothing in common: Abigail is a college student at Yale and daughter of one of the professors; Meredith is a married mother and owner of a bowling alley; Janet is a successful broker -- yet all of them decide to pose for Playboy magazine, shocking their friends and co-workers.